Tuesday, August 25, 2009

It's done...

Last night was the last night I didn't have to worry about being somewhere in the morning...

This morning was the last morning I didn't have to worry about being somewhere....

The last morning I could just relax with my baby and husband...

Tomorrow.... It starts.

I don't know what it is... I'm getting really scared. About everything. My baby is going to daycare... someone else is going to watch her for 8 hours a day instead of me... It breaks my heart. I know she will eventually love it though. Her daycare teacher, Denise, is SOO good with kids.. she is going to have a blast hanging out with her friends at Denises! It will probably take a little while for her to get used to because she has some MAJOR separation anxiety right now... but I think this will be good for her... I keep telling myself this:

The more people she knows that love her.... the better.
The more people she knows that love her.... the better.
The more people she knows that love her.... the better.

That statement is the only reason I was ok with doing this whole school thing. I truely believe that. My sisters kids are amazing and they go to daycare! There is no reason I should be worried but I guess it's just that I know I'm going to miss her.

Anyway that isn't the only reason I'm scared... You would think that going back in the summer and dancing there for several months would make going in the fall like just another semester... but it isn't. I'm so scared about tights and leotards again... and scared about pointe shoes... and about my hair that won't fit into a bun... even though I already dealt with all of these fears over the summer... They are back. Dumb I know... but I feel like I have so many expectations to live up to... not just other peoples expectations.. but my own are probably the most daunting. But I have to do that... I have to be honest with myself and expect the most that I am capable of.

5 comments:

Heather Stott said...

look at what a blogger you have become! I guess you are trying to get it all in before you get supper busy again! good luck! you'll be fine, and way to be strong with sending Lilly to day care, and your right, I am sure she will be fine, a lot of kids that do day care are SO smart and well adjusted little kids, but I bet it doesn't make it any easier! good luck with it all!!! oh and your hair will grow! :)

Sarah said...

I would think you were weird if you weren't worried about Lilly going to daycare. As you already know it will be hard, but Lilly will learn that she can expect that you will come back for her at the end of the day. ALso it sounds like you found someone you trust with Lilly. AS for school... who isn't worried their first day? hope you have a good day!

Kevin, Kelsey and Annalise.... said...

I had a hard time when I went back to work, and it was even harder for Annalise. She was 6 months old, and she screamed every time I left her with her teacher, and she spent most of the three hours crying. It took her a few months to get used to it, but now I can leave her with anybody and she tells me to leave now.

I know you will be awesome this semester, you are as good as you think you are....and we all know you are amazing!

The Slaters said...

Dont worry too much Ellie you are amazing and will do a great job!

mgsbigdog said...

You are brave! I am so excited for you and for all the fun things to come this semester! I feel like maybe you putting Lilly in day care will make her more accostomed to being around other kids and adults and that you and Steve will cherish even more, the time you all get to spend together as a family. And just think, you get to DANCE as well as be a wonderful wife and mother! Not many people can handle all of their passions at once, but I believe that you are one who will be so good at balancing everything! Way to go Ellie! :D
P.S. We're with you all the way, so don't EVER hesitate to call us if you need ANYTHING! :D

Total Pageviews